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Date April 3, 2020
Name SKEPTIC
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Comments So we had World War 1 & 2. Spanish Flu, A flood in America that lasted as many days as Noah's flood in the 20th century. So what happened to the Rapture then? Why hasn't it happened where is Jesus? Did he sin you know "sloth"???



Date April 3, 2020
Name Guest
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Comments Aw, I thought you guys had deleted the guestbook :( For a website that is probably gonna end up in the Wayback Machine.



Date April 3, 2020
Name Yo!
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Comments OH baby is the rapture comin' is Jesus getting horny. Is he horny horny horny. So horny horny! Yeah!



Date March 10, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Zeus appears laughing sticks his lighting bolt in God. Zeus: Made a little virus that no one can cure or find a vaccine? God: *gulps* Y-Yes I'm sorry daddy. Zeus: I'm not your daddy. But you need to take more care of earth. God: WHY DON'T YOU! Zeus: Well people do think that I'm a mythical God now so the answer is no no no. Bye.



Date March 10, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments God feels awkward about the Corona Virus and decides to give everyone so far a ticket to go where ever they want. Cinema, Fairgrounds, Internet cafes, restaurants, Library, Shopping, Casino, Noah's Pub and other pubs and Heavens Vegas.



Date March 10, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments God is speechless. Later God: Dear god you smell disgusting. Woman: So would you if you couldn't have a shower and killed by covid-19



Date March 10, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Jesus: I'm not a little kid, I don't use my miracles for pranks like I did when I went to school. But I'm disowning you father, Joseph is my father. He was a better father on earth, he even told me to ask you if I could have a miracle to not be crucified. I want the myth wiped out that I'm you, God.



Date March 10, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments God: Jesus how dare you, break my Rapture Clock, and why is one of my horsemen in Hell? Jesus: I'm not doing the Rapture, it's immoral. God: How?



Date March 10, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Jesus runs into his fathers office finds the Rapture Clock and smashes it with a lighting bolt. God is sleeping. God: ZzzzZZzzZzZzzzzZZzz 4 hours later God: JESUS! Angel: Does Heaven normally have a queue like this? Angel: Do you remember World War Two? Angel: Oh yeah. Man: Like my chopsticks? Woman: I was making a pizza party. Man: THIS IS NOT MY RELIGION! AHHH!



Date March 8, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Jesus *gulps* W-who are YOU? Horseman: I am one of the four horsemen. Jesus: You cant be. You must be an Angel doing a prank. Horseman: No, but don't panic, Jesus we are not going to earth, yet. Jesus: I'm not doing the rapture, it's *stares at an Atheist who had just threw a lightning bolt at God* God: ZEUS! It's a fairytale, I don't go back on earth, horseman why don't you come with me to the racing ground but you will have to go to the racing ground in Hell, you will scare people here, but Satan and his demons won't be bothered. He is having another party tonight. Horseman: No Jesus: COME ON Horseman: No Jesus grabs the horseman opens the gates of #$@%! and throws him in. Lucifer go and take this horseman to the racing ground. Satan: OK!



Date March 8, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Jesus decided to help his step-father with the cinema. "Hey, dad like my roller-skates" Joseph laughed. Jesus didn't want to do any rapture, he wasn't a monster. They saw two young boys sitting on a bench with what looked like Tide Pods. "Are they still doing that Tide Pod challenge? Don't they know its how they got here." said Joseph. "Daddy, wants me to rapture with this Chorna-19 and all the terrible weather." "I don't" "Not you, I meant God." "Oh" "I think its just a rumour Jesus, remember your father has the clock."



Date March 8, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Joseph had heard rumours in Heaven about the Rapture happening even though only God was supposed to know but Heaven is now more wild - it would be its not the Middle Ages anymore. The world isn't as strict on religion nowadays, except for the Bible Belt and most of the Middle East. Joseph had been building a Cinema in Heaven, kicking the Angels who try to stop anyone from entering.



Date March 2, 2020
Name Hi
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Comments Why are you afraid of the word where the Devil lives?



Date March 2, 2020
Name Guest
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Comments Don't you think the whole Bible is far-fetched? I mean I'm not saying God, Jesus, Heaven and #$@%! is a hoax. Just the Bible not really true just man made.



Date March 2, 2020
Name Hell
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Comments What if #$@%! is far-fetched? Devil: I really cant stay! Demon: Sir, it's cold outside. Devil: Duh we live in a sauna.



Date March 2, 2020
Name Heavenly
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Comments Baby, you're all that I want When you're lyin' here in my arms I'm finding it hard to believe We're in heaven An' love is all that I need And I found it there in your heart It isn't too hard to see We're in heaven



Date March 2, 2020
Name Adventures In Heaven
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Comments God: Dear God The Rapture Clock is showing signs. War threats! Coronavirus! Floods in Britain over February! I better get my son ready. Angel *facepalm* Angel Rita: What now Jennifer? Angel Jennifer: God has seen more signs in his Rapture Clock. He wants Jesus to be a monster. Angel Rita: Don't worry, he is going senile, but Earth does look like it's in trouble. Angel Jennifer: He was senile when he told Noah to build the Ark. Noah: OI!



Date January 1, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Angel Rupert is rocking out on his guitar Angels Kimberly and Dora who are his helpers also have guitars now.



Date January 1, 2020
Name Vampires
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Comments Edward Cullen: Hi I was just passing by I found out about God. Actually I was trying to find a way of getting rid of my diamond look and get some fangs. Bye.



Date January 1, 2020
Name Vampire
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Comments We have found new proof for God! Vampires Count Dracula.



Date January 1, 2020
Name Molly
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Home Page www.raptureiscominggetready.com
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Comments Look at all these comments on here, spam. 2020 Jesus come soon.



Date January 1, 2020
Name Adventures in Heaven
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Comments Angel Rupert: ZzzzZZzz 2020 already? well come with me you two. *seeing two people shaking nervously* Jesus: We had the greatest New Years Party. Zeus made it brilliant. Well except he zapped dad a couple of times.



Date January 1, 2020
Name 80s
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Comments Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth They say in heaven, love comes first We'll make heaven a place on earth Ooh, heaven is a place on earth



Date January 1, 2020
Name Party
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Comments I wanna party like its 1999! Please tell me the highway to hell. I wanna party in hell.



Date January 1, 2020
Name 1990s
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Comments Dear God Please send me back to age of 6 on 1/2/1997. Amen